The week had been spent thinking. There was always something to think about. It was always spent on trying to figure out why she could only breathe underwater and not do anything else that she was used to ever doing. She had powers; abilities and they were all lost. She couldn't talk to Arthur like they could before, she couldn't manipulate the water, and her strength and endurance; that was a fucking joke. The clothes she once wore were nowhere to be found. She was weighed down by the heaviness of Danica’'s clothes.

She could have ditched them and swam easier but if she did that she'd have to walk through Boston during winter in Danica's underwear. And if she left her clothes on the beach chances were a homeless person would come by and try to snag the gear or the PD would think there was a murder case. Danica didn’'t have designer clothes, or the best of the best but warm clothes were still warm clothes. If you lose everything you tend to not give a shit about first world problems and rather try to survive by any means necessary.

Mera had lost everything. She had been to hell and back and right now she was trying to figure out her directions and get her shit together. It might have been selfish for her to think of herself and only herself but she owed nothing to any of these people. And the only person other than herself that she cared about? Well there were some things they would have to work things out eventually. She wasn't codependent by any stretch; she could handle herself just fine on her own. There was still love and respect there for him though and there had been a life built. She wouldn't just throw that away because she was having a hard time. She was sure her husband was in the same boat.

She was no good to anyone, no good in fighting against whatever it was keeping them imprisoned in a body, sharing with someone else, beckoning them for only a week at a time. There was no helping others on land, protecting the oceans and the innocent people if she herself wasn't well, herself. If she wasn't herself there was no helping or fixing. You can't expect to save, protect or solve anything for others if you can't do the same for yourself. Not all of her problems needed to be solved but she had nothing to go on, nothing of value in her current state. She would get hurt if she tried anything, and that would possibly cause people to worry and put them in risk and she was smart enough not to be foolish.

It was easy to appear self centered and arrogant when nobody knew how you ticked. What really goes on behind those eyes were always a lot more intricate and complicated than a simple “oh she's a queen, she's supposed to be a bitch.” No, Mera might have been a queen but she cared, she wanted to see her people rise up, she wanted to see her husband in his glory, she wanted to help the land dwellers survive. Right now she had to worry about herself surviving. She had that right to want herself, her husband and their world to survive. People on normal days wanted their loved ones to do well, to do good. They wanted to protect them and secure their futures; she was doing the same even if it looked shady to the outside world.

As Mera was getting lost in her thoughts a strange feeling was coming over her. She was losing herself. She was losing control. “Shit.” Was all she could say as she looked up to the surface. She turned herself around and started swimming back to the surface. If she would make it or if she would meet her and Danica's end remained to be seen. Her legs kicked with vigor and her arms moved with powerful force as she was coming from the deep sea to reach the surface. However there was only so much she could do before everything went dark for Mera. Before Danica knew it she came to and inhaled water. It scared her, her eyes wide as she looked around. Her heart racing as she realized she was under water. She started swimming to the surface.

She was a marine biologist and swam all her life but there was only so much swimming in a pool, with the safety of a lifeguard or Curry around to help her if she ever tried to over do it. This? She was all on her own and in the ocean. Her legs and arms, although trim and used to swimming were getting exhausted. Her clothes were weighing her down. The surface was so close but the panic of low air supply kicked in and her head started pounding. She felt herself getting weaker and weaker, almost tunnel vision. Her eyes closed as she pumped her legas and arms as fast as she could. A loud gasp erupted from her when she finally reached the surface. She then began choking on the water she had inhaled while under water as well as the large quantity of air she just took in. Her body stung and ached. Her head hurt and she could do nothing but cough and choke on her breaths and small amounts of ocean that would spill into her mouth.

Her body wanted to give up but she had to get to shore. She swam, hazy and light headed. Survival instincts kicked in overpowering her exhausted body. Adrenaline hit her, she had far enough to go and yet it was nothing. She was moments from being on land. She could do this. She wanted to give up and yet she swam, she swam as hard as her tired would let her, but it let her. Reaching the shore she crawled out of the ocean and onto the beach. It was cold, snow on the ground and her clothes soaking. She laid on the beach, cheek to the hard, cold ground. Her chest rose and fell with the heavy breaths she was taking. Her eyes looked around, eyelids feeling heavy. She couldn't sleep, she couldn't give in. She pushed herself up off the ground and started walking. Her legs heavy, but they no longer were kicking. They felt like bricks as the adrenaline was now gone and she had to stumble her way from the beach back to her apartment.