Her ability to withdraw was amazing. It was quick to close ties where there really were none. It had been over a month since she deleted custom posts, stopped being cordial to anyone. Her withdrawing, becoming a hermit was easy though. Nobody missed her, nobody noticed. Putting faith in those that didn't deserve it was a mistake; it was a flaw she quickly eradicated. There would be no second chances, no time for anyone to come forward or go back and fix things. There was no mourning period, no second thoughts. There wasn't even regret in cutting ties. There was no hold and to those that thought there was? They would learn one day; if they even bothered.

Her friends she did have, she tried hard to be herself but withdrawing from people in general brought heaviness. There was unhappiness in her chest and head since her last shift. Things unsaid, left unsolved or unfinished. There was a struggle to not be selfish but wanted nothing more than for her own happiness above others. Her world, her castle had been under attack, a war with outsiders, within her head. Demons coming back to remind her how she was never alone; they were always watching and waiting for her to become weak and fall apart again. She didn't usually believe in hope and faith. That was like walking around blindly and expecting that outside sources, a barrier, a light that only she could see personally would lead her without bumping into things or causing harm. Despite that, she felt too much, she felt hopeless.

All the cards had been played. Her hand was shown and she had nothing else. There was a pause to the game with no certainty of an ending. She would sit for hours, in the dark with candles or the lights from her laptop monitor or TV screen filling her room. Her birthday gift of a leather bound journal was being used, to track thoughts, emotions for future reference to look back and reflect; to draw conclusions and make sense of everything. No matter it was also hard to draw the will to write in the thing. To have to hold hands with demons she wished she could banish. There was no new slip up from a man who didn't deserve the time of day from the most important woman in her life. She couldn't let her rage out on someone else's work or home.

Being this dark, this alone was not her. It was unlike her and yet it resided in her. It resonated and filled her. She didn't know where to turn. She was a burden and her issues were small, if not absent altogether. Unable to pinpoint what made her so dark, angry and sad. Sometimes she would be completly happy and then for hours she would be unable to shake the feeling of being cold, lonely and dark. She hadn't felt this withdrawn since her son's death, except this time she didn't push those she loved away; if anything she wanted them closer. She was used to being a beacon, a lighthouse, of being random and happy. To be silly and laughing for hours with her best friend, to dance in the most ridiculous of ways with her beloved. But not now, there was no more dancing. The laughs and smiles, randomness was done behind a screen and sometimes was hard to come by or didn't last long enough to heal her.

Even now, the bed she awoke in was empty. The room was bare of life, only furnishings like she remembered a long time ago. It was odd that there was everything returned. She wondered if he was here too or if he was stuck unshifted, or possibly wanted nothing to do with her. She only had connection with him but she kept away from the link. There was a feeling, a need to repent, to apologize and mend things. She was not herself when he was upset but she felt responsible for the withdrawn behavior.

No matter, she awoke, her outfit, gauntlets and crown situated on her body, arms and head as she once wore every day. She could smile now though, she was herself and she was home. Leaving the room, there were people. There were furnishings and decorations. The more she explored the castle and the grounds the more Atlantis showed itself as it's fully glorious self. Atlantis itself was massive, it would take her far too long to explore to see just how much was unlocked to them, but there were people, the buildings, and the noises. There was a sense of relief but also confusion. Why was everything restored to its glory? Why had all the people returned?

Her first instinct was to find Atlantis' rightful leader, its king and see if he was among the people. She first checked the communications room; having grown used to it being one of the only rooms unlocked to them. To see it fully operational, to see Atlantians working, living. Then the next place for her to check was the throne room. It took her a moment before she reached the door. She stopped outside of it, hand on the door. Would he want to see her? Would he be happy to see her? She had missed him. Despite knowing he had Danica last shift and she was able to see, to know those memories she was unable to speak, to truly touch and interact with him. She missed him. Like almost a year ago; she vowed now to herself like she did to him; she would prove her loyalty to him. He would slowly, somehow stop withdrawing from her. Her hand pushed the door open and she went inside.