Things have changed, things were left unsaid, unthought. Walls were building, a safe house that nobody could visit. Withdrawing was safe, it protected her. The outsiders, the outside source of fake between real, the lies, the deceit. The amount of times she felt strung along, or the realization she was betraying herself. She had a set of morals, of reasons, her thoughts and choices; yet she was breaking her rules and changing who she was. She didn't like that, it wasn't for the better if anything it was making things worse. She didn't need validation from anyone, didn't need to feel like she belonged. There was need for change but there was a difference from hiding behind who she thought she should have been and who she really should have been. It being too late to fix things remained to be seen. Regardless she was going to be who she should have been and if that meant being this person alone then at least she could save herself. Self-preservation was all she could do at this point. Those who still loved her and wanted her around; those people who mattered to her would be there for her regardless.

She would do anything for those people. She would let them go, give them space, smother them, kill for them, protect them. Whatever was needed to be done she would move the ocean itself to make it happen. Her loyalty had never changed, if anything recently it had grown stronger. It might have looked like she was pulling away, but she was more sure than ever that she was where she should be. There was no need to walk a tightrope dangling above the world. Life wasn't easy, added abilities and not being human happened, changed things but despite the changes, the new beacons in her life there was no need to stick herself out and risk herself for the foolishness of others. If she had to be alone so be it, she was a big girl and knew how to do that. The monsters in her head, the cracks had gone away and healed before; she wasn't fragile. There would be no snap again; there would be no need to walk on eggshells. She was in her thirties and life was to be lived, not catered around her. This wasn't the Truman show and things had to happen now.

Time spent alone, distance placed. She felt out of place. It felt like her heart was ripped from her chest. She had to learn how to go on, wounded. She would heal, life would go on. This wasn't about her, this wasn't time for her to be selfish; to ask more of someone simply because she felt hurt, sad that things had changed. Would she love to share smiles with him again? Would she love to reach a new level with him? It went without saying, but clearly those were very selfish things. There was no reason to make her insecurities and her desires fall on someone else. The world was changing, the world was falling apart. Memories were being lost and shared with other selves. Feelings, words, abilities, things were mixing and bleeding into each other. There shouldn't be only thoughts of what she wants, what she needs. There was entire world out there dealing with their own shit. There was a reason things were happening and rather than dwell on why things were not going right one way, she should be trying to help; for the better of the world. She should be protecting who she loved rather than get lost in her head.

Perhaps she thought if she could fix her own life, find stability in her own back yard, in her thoughts and feelings then she would be better equipped to take on the world. But in came that selfish reasoning; only once you are safe and content can others be safe and content. It didn't work like that and the train of thought needed to stop. As he said, they always found each other in the end. Distance happened apparently but through it all they were brought back to each other. The notion she was separate from her other self was dwindling. She had accepted she was who she was; there was no separation. He was who he was, there was a reason for all of this. They would find each other again; just like they had when she l;ost her mind after the death of their son. Just like they did when these abilities started happening. Just like they did through their other lives.

The drive gave her time to reflect. To think on things she didn't want to think on. The thought that she would actually have to give up, to back away and allow things to happen how they would. The world didn't bend to her will, things shouldn't be meddled in. Things get warped and bent when they are forced before they are ready. This was no different. The thought that he might think she gave up on him, on them even after all she said; that worried her. She meant every word she wrote, how she would wait. That's all she could do. Was wait, there was reasons why there was waiting. Their happy ending could wait; bigger more important things were at hand and had to be dealt with. It was hard to swallow and deal with but it would get done. She would survive, but there was no need she couldn't feel the way she felt.

Pulling up to the parking lot she turned off her car and sat silently. Her eyes closed as she saw infinite darkness behind her eyelids. The lack of sleep, consumption of alcohol and general emotions she felt had taken a toll on her. If anyone looked upon her she would look as if she had been through one hell of a long night. The dark circles around her eyes, the red and blood shot eyes. She looked tired but she was not a zombie, there was calmness to her. She had dealt with this state plenty of times and there would surely be more. Her eyes opened as she took a deep breath. Taking the keys from the ignition she unbuckled her seatbelt. She turned her body and reached into the backseat to grab a blue and white-stripped weekender bag. Opening the zipper she rifled through the contents. She stuck her keys and any other lose contents from her pockets into the bag. Turning back around again she opened the car door and stepped out. Removing her clothes and flip-flops she opened the back door and put her clothes in the bag and did up the zipper again. She took the bag out of the back seat and closed the door.

She pushed the button on the driver's side door that opened the trunk and put the bag inside. Closing the trunk she readjusted her bathing suit pieces and untied her hair. She closed the driver's side door and punched in the code on the side of the door and locked the car. The car was parked close to the sad so her feet barely touched concrete before they sunk into the warm sand. The warm sand engulfed her feet with every step she took. Finally she stopped as the waves caressed the earth. The wind blew gently as she looked out into a world that not everyone got to see, one she helped command and yet humbly paled in comparison to the real leader. She respected this world, one she felt most herself than she had in a long time. A world that had welcomed her and called to her ever since she was a small child. Even now, it welcomed her and accepted her for everything she was.

Walking in slowly until she was deep enough, her feet kicked her body up from the bottom. Her hands coming together above her in an arch as her body curved and she dove into the ocean waters. The liquid surrounded her and a wave of content and clarity washed over her. Her feelings and troubles wouldn't fade, but she could push them aside for the time being and feel her freedom, a little less confusion. She could never find Atlantis again; she had tried, to touch it again, to feel like she was connected to it, to the people, to him again. No matter, she was unable to find it or see it. Today she wasn't looking for it. She was just looking to free herself from her temporary, selfish pain. Her feet barely kicked as she swirled, moved and danced around the ocean at high speeds. She felt the most powerful around water, felt as if she could take on the world.

She would go back to reality, go back to hiding who she was, never admitting publicly like some what she was. She didn't want to be thrown into a fish tank and put on display, or experimented on. She didn't want to be the cause of debate or wars. She didn't want to be killed and cut open simply because humans were curious. She knew her job required her test samples, to tag, track, and experiment on animals. There was no killing but she knew from common sense, from first hand encounters, from research and videos just how cruel, ignorant and stupid people could be. It wasn't hard to see just how badly things could turn if people suddenly started spewing off their abilities and who they thought they were. It was already lunatic to be able to tell someone; go look at a comic book if you want to know more.

It was all too much and she wondered where the line would be drawn, how safe she really was living in a city full of them. Sure they had powers and abilities, but if enough of them were going to walk around as if they were untouchable, well that sort of ignorance gets you in trouble, hurt or killed. She did not want to have a target on her back because someone accidentally or purposefully commented her publicly about it. At least here she could be untouched, nobody to chase her, to comment her or put her in harms way. Finally surfacing she noticed how dark it had gotten, the moon out in all its glory. She found a small rock protruding out from the water and climbed out. Knees to chest she looked up out into the water that surrounded her every which way she looked. Her hair curled and wildly framed around her face and cascading down her back from the sea salt. Her arms wrapped around her knees before her chin rested on her knees.