Those fifteen minutes felt like hours as she watched the clock far more than she normally did. She left her desk earlier than the time, convincing herself that she would take a while to get to the tank. She knew that no patrons would be there as they closed the exhibit for a few hours to do work. She pushed open the door to the dark room. Only the blue of the pool of water separating the land from the water by thick aquarium glass. There he was, his back to her. He was looking at the tank.

The smile played on her lips. He wasn’t hers to have or keep but it never stopped her from coming closer. He was the greatest love of her life. A constant, someone she depended upon, and someone she looked to for comfort, to find a companionship. She had Sonja, but something about Arthur made her feel the safest and happiest. They shared a lot, childhood, tragedy, abilities, work, family, and so on. She tapped his shoulder.

“I didn’t think you were off today.” Her voice light as the other turned to face her. He was smiling as well. She came in for a hug, and he hugged her in return. Something about him seemed different. He didn’t have a heavy aura, his worries almost gone. He carried their secrets with an almost burden type outlook and it got Arthur to be within himself a lot. Today he seemed light, relieved. It made Danica unbelievably happy that he didn’t feel like he had to be in control of everything.

He took her hand and walked her to the bench so they could sit, facing the tank. He looked at the tank and so did she. It was silent between them but it didn’t feel awkward. She had admitted to him that she was still in love with him and wanted a relationship with him. He hadn’t responded and so she gave him time. Even after admitting her feelings and not getting the response she hoped for, it wasn’t awkward between them. She refused to let it get awkward for them; they had enough to deal with.

He finally turned to her and smiled. She caught him out of the corner of her eye and turned to face him. “I’ve met someone.” Her heart pounded, the words ringing in her ear like a steam train whistle. She swallowed the pain that was forming in her chest and the turning of her stomach. His smile was not reciprocated but it didn’t seem to be noticed. She blinked, looking at him as his face lit up. “She’s the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. I feel more comfortable around her than I do by myself.” The stinging kept coming.

She chewed on the inside of her lip to keep from saying anything. He looked unbelievably happy. “I’ve found the love of my life. I can be myself around her, I don’t have to hide anything and what’s even more important..” He trailed off a moment. “She makes me feel normal, like I’m human and I belong somewhere in this world. All my stresses about what I’m going through don’t matter; we tackle them as a team.” The words slicing through her like a sharp samurai sword cutting through silk.

“We’re getting married and moving to Australia.” His look, she couldn’t describe it. It wasn’t any more somber than before and it wasn’t any less happy. She just couldn’t figure it out. The numbness taking over as she blinked at him. The heavy breathing was obvious but all he did was rub her back momentarily. “I thought you should also know…” He looked away from Danica before his eyes locked onto hers. “She’s pregnant.” Danica felt light headed, he continued on.

“She’s giving me a second chance. A life I could never have if you were still in my life.” He shook his head. “You’ll always be a reminder of my failures, a past gone wrong. I can’t be held back with you. I’d never be happy even if we ever did try again. The past belongs in the past. She makes me happier than you ever could.” He stood up and rather than console her or even apologize he went around the bench and left her along in the dark room.

Her eyes pooled with tears as she sucked in her lower lip and teeth bit down on the lip. She closed her eyes and the tears rolled down her face. The fear of being heard was lost, nobody would come. She cried, her whole body shaking, chest tight. She let out a scream that shook her entire being and yet nobody came. The tears fell down her face, stinging her cheeks. Every insecurity and fear she had with him just came tumbling at her like a giant fist. The universe connected with her core and blacked her out. She felt sick to her stomach although she wasn’t going to throw up. The anxiety, the break down strong, it was the closest thing to loss she could get other than the death of their son when she was only eighteen.

Her body shot up, with a great gasp. She looked around a sense of panic was washed over her body. Her chest rose and fell as her breathing was erratic and she tried hard to steady and calm herself. She was no longer in the aquarium; rather she was in her bed. She grabbed her phone and pressed the home button and the lock screen opened; an image of them in the background. In the foreground was the time and date. It read “May 25th, 12:00 am” She reached up and wiped her eyes to clear the tears from her view. The world was still spinning and she was coming down from the panic attack, the phone placed back onto the nightstand. Something caught her eye next to her on the floor. It was a figure. Reaching over on her nightstand she turned on the mermaid lamp Sonja had got her for her birthday. It was him, he was on her floor. The blankets pulled back quickly as she jumped out of bed and next to him, her hand on his chest and gentle shook him to try to wake him.